Newfound Freedom

December 28, 2009

A friend recently asked me how my newfound freedom felt with my departure from NWEI and this is what I shared:

'It's rather mixed actually, a combination of sheer glee and trepidation with a pinch of anxiety and smidge of overwhelm swirled in there...the mystery of my future is both freeing and frightening. It scares me to feel like I have this much control in my own life, to know that I have an opportunity to choose a different path. I always possessed that "control," but I see it differently now...hard to explain.

I'm mostly establishing some kind of rhythm for my day so I don't get paralyzed in the lack of structure. I'm at a coffeehouse and just about to launch into the job search. It's rather bizarre to go from an 8-5p job to all hours in the day.'

I talked to my friend, Martha's mom for about an hour on Sat. night about all of this and it was so helpful and comforting just to have a listening, unbiased ear by my side! She commented that while freedom feels liberating when you leave a position that makes you unhappy that it is still disorienting. I am still obligated to pay rent, utilities, make my car payment, and balance everything else that keeps my life going.